Week Five Questions

  1. Jim Wilder describes joy as being “the sparkle in someone’s eye.”
    • When have you experienced someone being genuinely delighted to be with you?
    • How did that affect the way you saw yourself and your relationship with that person?
  2. As you reviewed the maturity stages, what personal task or developmental area stood out to you?
    • Is there something you may not have fully learned or experienced growing up?
    • How might that unfinished area still affect your emotions, relationships, or faith today?
  3. Fear bonds ask, “How do I protect myself?” Love bonds ask, “How can we stay connected?”
    • During conflict or disappointment, which question are you more likely to live from?
    • What does self-protection typically look like for you—control, anger, withdrawal, fixing, defending, shutting down, or something else?
    • How does that response affect connection with the other person?
  4. Some fear-based patterns began as understandable responses to hurt, rejection, trauma, or unmet needs. However, we may continue feeding those patterns long after the original threat has passed.
    • Is there a pattern that may have begun as protection but is now interfering with connection?
    • What might that pattern be providing for you. A sense of safety, control, power, distance, or justification?
    • What are you continuing to sow or feed through that pattern?
  5. Jesus teaches us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him.
    • What might “dying to the flesh” look like for you during conflict?
    • How could seeking God first change what you expect from your spouse or the other people closest to you?
    • What would it look like to rely on God rather than self-protection in that moment?
  6. Think of one relationship in which you would like to experience greater freedom and connection.
    • What would moving from fear toward a love bond look like in that relationship?
    • What is one pattern God may be asking you to stop feeding?
    • What is one practical step you could take this week to remain honest, loving, and connected?