So Now What?
If you’ve made it this far, you’ve spent eight weeks sitting in a question that doesn’t go away:
If Jesus offers freedom… why don’t I feel it?
We’ve looked at the Kingdom.
We’ve talked about pain, trauma, suffering.
We’ve dug into beliefs, reactions, patterns.
We’ve seen how easy it is to live from control, performance, and self-reliance.
And if you’re honest…
you’ve probably seen yourself in it.
I know I have.
So now what?
Because at the end of all of this, the truth hasn’t changed:
We don’t get free by trying harder.
We get free when God transforms us.
And that’s it.
The Line That Divides Everything
Jesus says:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
That’s not a soft statement.
That’s a dividing line.
Who are the “poor in spirit”?
They’re the ones who finally realize:
“I don’t have what it takes.”
“I can’t fix this.”
“I actually need to be rescued.”
Not improved.
Not tweaked.
Rescued.
To be poor in spirit is to be spiritually bankrupt.
No leverage.
No bargaining power.
Nothing to offer God except need.
Tim Keller said it this way:
“Only the poor in spirit can be saved.”
And then he presses even harder:
“If you think God owes you…that you’re entitled to a good life based on earning it, or controlling it, you’re not poor in spirit, you’re middle class in spirit.”
And This Is the Problem
I think a lot of us, without acknowledging it, live here:
Middle class in spirit.
We believe in God.
We follow Jesus.
We try to do the right things.
But underneath it all… we still think:
“I can handle this on my own.”
And that belief will quietly keep you stuck.
Because the Kingdom of God is not built on self-reliance.
It’s entered through surrender.
Fan or Dependent?
Here’s the question we can’t shake:
Are we actually dependent on Jesus…
or are we just a fan of Him?
Do I admire Him?
Agree with Him?
Try to apply His teaching?
Or do I actually need Him?
Because those are not the same.
And the difference shows up fast when life gets hard.
When I’m triggered.
When I feel out of control.
When old beliefs surface.
Do I move toward Him…
Or do I go right back to managing my life on my own?
This Is Where Everything Changes
You’ve seen it over these weeks:
- You can’t outwork your wounds
- You can’t outthink your beliefs
- You can’t behavior-modify your way into freedom
At some point, you hit the wall.
And that’s not failure.
That’s the doorway.
Because the only people who actually enter the Kingdom…
are the ones who know they can’t on their own.
So, Here’s the Challenge
Not a big spiritual idea.
Just this:
Are you willing to let go of managing your own life?
Are you willing to:
- stop trying to fix yourself
- stop pretending you’re fine
- stop relying on your own strength
And actually bring what’s real… to God?
Your wounds.
Your reactions.
Your beliefs.
Your patterns.
Not cleaned up.
Just honest.
Because that’s where transformation starts.
But let me ask you something:
Would it make sense to pray, “God, make me physically stronger—build my muscles”… and then never lift a weight?
Of course not.
In the same way, we can’t ask God for transformation… and then avoid the places He’s inviting us to engage.
We don’t transform ourselves—but we do participate.
…But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Hebrews 5:14
This scripture reminds us that maturity comes ‘by constant use’ as we train ourselves to discern what is true (Hebrews 5:14), not as a burden to perform, but as an invitation to participate with God by opening our lives to His work, where we rely not on our own strength, but on His.
We show up.
We spend time with Him.
We dive into His Word.
We open the door to relationship and intimacy with Him.
We bring what’s real.
We stay honest before Him.
And He does what we cannot.
And here’s the part we can’t miss:
As you allow God to transform you, it will begin to transform your marriage.
Not because your spouse changes first…
but because you’re no longer reacting from the same fears, the same lies, the same need to control or protect yourself.
Transformation in you changes how you show up.
And that changes everything.
Because if we’re honest, this is where many of us get stuck.
In marriage, we often begin to believe, sometimes subtly, that it’s our responsibility to fix our spouse.
We hold them to expectations they were never meant to carry.
We expect them to meet needs only God can meet.
We try to correct, manage, or control them into becoming who we think they should be.
But when we do that, something shifts.
Instead of becoming a blessing to one another…
we become a burden to each other.
The late Ruth Graham once said:
“It’s my job to love Billy. It’s God’s job to make him good.”
That’s what it looks like to live in the Kingdom of God in marriage.
I stop trying to change you.
And I allow God to change me.
Don’t Settle
John Piper said:
“If we don’t feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because you have drunk deeply and are satisfied. It is because we have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Our soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great.””
I think that’s true.
We settle for:
- coping
- managing
- getting by
When something far greater is available.
“God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”
Not in control.
Not in performance.
In Him.
When It Gets Hard
And it will.
There will be moments where this feels impossible.
Where the same patterns come back.
Where the same pain shows up.
Where you think, “Nothing is changing.”
Don’t quit.
“God has more ropes and ladders and tunnels out of pits than you can conceive.” John Piper
You’re not stuck.
But stay.
Stay in his word.
Stay in prayer.
Stay dependent.
Stay pursuing.
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me” Paul’s words in Philippians 3.
So Now What?
You don’t need a new strategy.
You need surrender.
Not once.
Daily.
So…
The only 2 questions in closing are:
- Will you live to pursue God’s Kingdom this way?
- Will you keep building your own kingdom…Or will you step into His?
Consider the Raven 