Recognizing the Role of Suffering in our Maturity
“Maturity is about reaching one’s God-given potential.”
Jim Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You
I tried for years to ignore any type A trauma I experienced. First, because I had no idea what that was, and second, I only saw it as a shame or guilt based problem that I just needed to overcome and all would be just fine.
It wasn’t until I experienced what “building your house on the rock” actually meant did I begin to recognize my issue. For several years, I was pretty good at building a really good looking house on the outside. But without realizing that I was building my house on a flimsy foundation, what looked good on the outside initially, through time, weather and stressful conditions, not only revealed weaknesses but eventually my house (my identity, my marriage, my family, my finances) collapsed.
The reality of trials and suffering is one of the main themes of the bible. The bible is loaded from the beginning in Genesis to the end in Revelation, with narrative regarding man’s struggles with pain and trials and God’s relationship to us through and in suffering. It’s filled with men and women’s cries of pain and with blunt questions to God about the seeming randomness and injustice of our suffering.
For me, my years of fiery experiences untethered me from self-reliance which opened my eyes to a more correct view of God and an experiential understanding of what it may mean to “share in the suffering of Christ.” With this, I began to experience glimpses of the freedom that is available to me to live in His Kingdom vs. living in the world of self reliance and my control.
You may read the verses below and say; “Yes, I know that is true”, however, when you “encounter your various trials” or you’re in the middle of a “fiery ordeal”, “it doesn’t necessarily feel true”.
Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith (refinement) produces endurance.
James 1
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of his glory you may rejoice with exultation.
1 Peter 4:12-13
At the heart of why people disbelieve or believe in God, of why people decline or grow in character and maturity, of how God becomes less real or more real to us, is in suffering.
In this reality, when you look closely to understand, it’s clear that one of the great themes of the Bible is how God brings fullness of joy not devoid of, but through suffering. Just as Jesus saved us because of what he endured on the cross, our own suffering can bring about transformation. And so there can be a kind of supernatural, “force-field-like”, and impenetrable joy that seems to come to us only through and in suffering.
In his book; Walking With God In Pain and Suffering, Tim Keller writes; “Over the years, I also came to realize that adversity did not merely lead people to believe in God’s existence. It pulled those who already believed into a deeper experience of God’s reality, love and grace. One of the main ways we move from abstract knowledge about God to a personal encounter with him as a living reality is through the furnace of affliction. As C.S. Lewis famously put it, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.”
Peter Scazzero, a Pastor and Author, gives us another way to look at our suffering. In this teaching he talks about how each of us will, in our life, hit what he refers to as “walls”. Watch and listen what he had to say:
The wall that Peter is talking about mirrors what Jesus described in his parable of the sower found in the Gospel of Mark. This is what he said to his followers to explain what the parable meant:
“The farmer sows the word. Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.”
“Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”
Mark 4
What Can We Learn from Job?
In Scripture, we are given the story of Job, which gives us powerful insights into God’s relationship with man in and through suffering, pain and trials.
Read Job 1: 8-22 Here we see a conversation between Satan and God regarding Job.
God asks:
“Have you considered my servant Job?”
Satan responds:
”Have you not put a hedge around his household…he only loves you because he has everything he needs.”
God’s truth:
Job loves me.
Satan’s lie:
No he doesn’t. He loves the things he’s getting from you. If any of these things go away he’ll leave you.
Satan puts his finger on one of the deepest wounds in the human race: That we don’t love God for who he is alone. Instead, we love ourselves and only want something in return for our belief. If Satan’s goal is to separate us from God, then what better way than to deceive us into believing the lie that it’s all about us and our “happiness” or our “comfort”. Once this core lie is believed, when our “happiness” or “comfort” is taken away, we will run from God, not to him.
The non-religious secular person may hold the opinion that suffering is a random thing and life is all chance. Many secular people may say; “There is no God, or at best, if there is a God he’s incompetent. Cleary a loving God wouldn’t allow this to happen to me.”
Religious people believe: God is looking for performers and punishes accordingly.
And worldly people believe: No one is in charge, there is no one good powerful God who controls anything.
God has a much different view.
Scripture teaches us that the way we will learn to overcome our nature: which is to love God only when he does what we want, is through suffering and experiencing who God really is for us in and through it.
What if it appears I’m not getting anything out of my wall experiences?
To be aware that we are serving God for who He is alone, can happen when it appears we are getting nothing out of serving Him. However, when bad things are happening and it seems that we are getting nothing out of it other then pain and suffering in this life, God often surrounds us in a bit of a supernatural need to know basis. Why? Because if we know the reason for our trials before they happen to us in this life, we run the risk of only loving or believing because we know the reason or the outcome. In the story of Job, nowhere in the midst of Job’s trials or even when the trial was over, was Job ever told by God why he experienced his suffering.
This is how God works with us…while he hates suffering, he permits it so that what Satan wants to use to destroy you God will use to save you.
The story of Job shows us this supernatural permission from God that allows Satan to attempt to accomplish what Satan wants, which is to destroy us by separating us from God. Yet God uses it for Satan’s own defeat while transforming us to become freely in love with God.
My Pain is Too Great
In Psalm 88, (written by Haman the Ezrahite) he laments:
“But I cry to you for help, Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you. Why, Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me? From my youth I have suffered and been close to death; I have borne your terrors and am in despair. Your wrath has swept over me; your terrors have destroyed me. All day long they surround me like a flood; they have completely engulfed me. You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
“…darkness is my closest friend.”
Haman calls out how he’s feeling: Depressed, alone, weak, worthless, dark, heavy, burdened, overwhelmed, trapped, grieved, rejected, despair, in pain, suffering. He ends with “darkness is my closest friend.” That’s the end of this Psalm. No sugar coating here.
He laments to God: you have overwhelmed me with “all of your waves”.
Why would God want an emotional response like this in his word? Wouldn’t it be more reasonable that God would want people (who are considering believing in Him or not), to read only stories revealing His offer of care, provision, safety and security?
Here are some observations as to why:
- Crying out to God must be OK
- Lamenting or mourning produces honest and real engagement with God, inviting him into our pain must be good
- The value of suffering and standing in the fire must be incredibly valuable to God’s kingdom and to us
- This level of affliction must be one of the keys to experiencing God’s true riches
- Experiencing God’s presence in the fire can produce unshakeable belief and faith even when we don’t feel God’s presence. “Why do you reject me and hide your face from me?” It must be able to drive us deeper
- If we build our life on the things we want and to be self reliant, experiencing suffering will be pulling you away from your happiness. Resulting in suffering making you sadder and sadder, madder and madder
- Consider however, if we build life on the opposite of self reliance, which is a free reliance on God…This can produce the action and means to “build your house on the rock” so that no matter what the storm you can’t be blown over.
One of the reasons for exploring and wrestling with who God is in our suffering, pain and trials is this: Part of our healing and transformation begins with the understanding that what the Evil one means for our destruction in this world, God can use for our good.
Without question, some of the “bad” things that happen to us come through the hands of bad people. And, as we have learned, sometimes we experience trauma from not getting the “good” things we should have. We do not want to minimize or excuse the unjust behavior of other people or the lack of love from others. Instead we want to provide you the opportunity to think about the possibility that the traumas that you have experienced, can actually backfire on Satan’s original plan to destroy you. And that there may be things you believe about yourself (I am no good, I am a failure, there is no hope for me, etc.) because of your experience that may feel true but is not. The process of healing often begins with and includes identifying those core lie-based beliefs and allowing God to reveal His truth to you.
Why is this important?
As you learned in week two, when life happens in the present, we interpret the event from our current experiential core-belief. If our core belief reflects the truth, we will have a corresponding emotional response. If what we believe is lie-based, then we will respond accordingly. Scripture teaches us that the enemy of our souls knows this and has built and maintained a “lie-as-a-trap” strategy, to harm generations of men and the people around them. As the old saying goes, hurt people, hurt people.
Uncovering the lie that God can’t use your painful experiences for your good opens a pathway to healing for us—and as we heal, we will create a wake of healing around us. Healed people heal people. The idea that we can become whole-hearted, content and free to love, no matter what our circumstances, is actually the radical idea of becoming like Jesus who lived from His heart and calls us to live from the hearts He gave each one of us.
Consider the Raven 